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Dolphin: We I.C.E. agents get the best of the best training to arrest and remove murderers, rapists, pedophiles, terrorists, and gang members from our communities. Dolphin: We receive extensive firearm training, are taught de-escalation tactics, and receive Fourth and Fifth Amendment comprehensive instruction. Dolphin: But the most fun part is traumatizing children by shooting their parents in front of them.

NEW COMIC TWO OR THREE TIMES A WEEK, OR WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES

Back in February the Department of Homeland Security posted a press release containing the text in the first two panels of this comic (except the original has a fucking typo: "murderers, rapists, pedophiles, terrorist [sic], and gang members" Goddamn morons). Meanwhile ICE is clearly directly targeting the worst of the worst: shackling children, detaining grandmothers, throwing members of Congress to the ground, threatening them with prison, murdering people in broad daylight, firing at cars with five-year-olds in them, you know, murderers and terrorists.

Democrats better have a hell of a plan for a new Nuremberg.

Note: I was originally going to draw Yosemite Sam -- because he's trigger happy, get it? -- but asking around I confirmed my worry that Yosemite Sam, while ostensibly a villain, is too well-loved to deserve being cast as an ICE agent. Plus, a friend noted, I wouldn't want to accidentally generate a mascot for them (see also: the Punisher). I tried to think of some kind of animal to play the role but none -- goblin shark? weasel? naked mole rat? cockroach? All these things are positive role models. Even a used Fleshlight is a positive thing in some sense -- none were low enough to match my opinion of ICE. Hence, the oozing shit, or, in the parlance of my father, the blivit -- ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag. In this case it's Officer Blivit.

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