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747-8: Hello there my fellow Ameriqari {ahem} Americans! I'm your new Air Force One! I'm not the bad guy here! Sure, I'm in violation of the Constitution, I can't do half the stuff Air Force One needs to do... 747-8: ...and I can't solve all the problems the U.S. is having with air traffic control staffing and planes falling out of the sky, but I will cost hundreds of millions of dollars and years of work before I'm ready for POTUS! 747-8: Where was I going with this? Anyway, I have nine bathrooms!

NEW COMIC TWO OR THREE TIMES A WEEK, OR WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES

Air Force One is actually two planes, both heavily modified Boeing 747-200s. Attempting to replace both (?) current planes with one 747-8 which needs millions, maybe billions, of dollars of work to function properly seems insane. But, you know, the 747-200 is smaller than the 747-8. And bigger is better. Biggest is best! Don't you know that, Crooked Democrats?