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Bulldog: When the Secretary of (ahem) War says, "Kill 'em all", is that a war crime? Bulldog: Since there's no actual war going on in the Caribbean, it's more like regular fucking murder. Bulldog: But isn't killing people at random self-defense, just like when Florida Man shoots a teenager through his screen door because he's afraid? Bulldog: The Castle Doctrine writ large: We only have to believe the nation's in danger! Bulldog: Too bad so many Americans are willing to believe such idiotic shit. Bulldog: Turns out fat, drunk, and stupid is a way to go through life.

NEW COMIC TWO OR THREE TIMES A WEEK, OR WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES

To be fair, the couple of cases of shooting people on your stoop for no good reason were not in Florida. But I feel Florida Man is a state of mind, not anything tied to real estate. And -- I'm shocked to report -- the former shooter went to jail for a long time, and the latter victim survived. The shooter in that case croaked before he could serve his sentence, which is perfect, because nothing says America like octogenarians at death's door armed to the teeth and driving to the supermarket because no one will take their keys or guns away. My dad always said to go out with style or company.

Anyway, Pete Hegseth's order to kill 'em all is definitely criminal. The only question is whether it's a war crime or just murder. I guess it could be both! And let's hope someone prosecutes every last person in the chain of command. But I won't hold my breath waiting.