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Rhino: Pete Hegseth said we didn't start this war but we are finishing it. Pig: Is the Secretary of "War" a sitcom dad? Envelope front: The Congress shall have Power To declare War Rhino: No stupid rules of engagement, no nation-building quagmire, no democracy-building exercise, no politically correct wars. Pig: So, just, like, war crimes? Envelope front: Geneva Conventions of 1949 Rhino: We fight to win, and we don't waste time or lives. Death and destruction from the sky all day long. We're playing for keeps. Pig: The only ones who are playing are in the Trump cabinet. Envelope front: [DVD case of "WarGames" from 1983]

NEW COMIC TWO OR THREE TIMES A WEEK, OR WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES

It's too easy to mock Pete Hegseth as a former drunk, well-coiffed TV talking head, or religious fuckwit. You can call him Pete Kegstand or whatever. His obvious white supremacy is bad, but somehow the thing I find worst of all is the evident glee he shows whenever he talks about "war fighting". He loves talking big and he absolutely loves the power he wields. Most people who end up in the position of Secretary of Defense don't deserve that power -- who really does? -- but most of them at least try to appear serious and thoughtful. Donald Rumsfeld was an asshole but even he didn't seem to take joy in war. Pete, on the other hand, is nearly ejaculatory in his fervor. It's disgusting.

Almost as disgusting as mixing real-world war film with video game footage for propaganda purposes.