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Sheep: Who came up with these Orwellian-ass executive order names? Goat: Are we talking about the airplane Orwell or the popcorn Orwell? Sheep: "Guaranteeing The States Protection Against Invasion" is about migrants crossing the border with Mexico. "Defending Women From Gender Ideology Extremism And Restoring Biological Truth To The Federal Government" is about dehumanizing trans people. Goat: You say tomato, I say propagandistically hiding my true intent. Sheep: "Restoring Names That Honor American Greatness" is somehow not about reverting military base names to commemorate oath-breaking traitors. Goat: McKinley was a loser but he never stormed the Capitol.

NEW COMIC MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS, AND FRIDAYS AND WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES

"Clarifying the Military's Role in Protecting the Territorial Integrity of the United States" throws out the 147-year-old Posse Comitatus Act by allowing the executive to deploy US armed forces to enforce laws; "Ending Illegal Discrimination And Restoring Merit-Based Opportunity" is about how worthless sacks of white privilege like Pete Hegseth and Stephen Miller have been denied opportunities because women and people of color are cutting the line; "Restoring Accountability for Career Senior Executives" is an attempt to make it so Trump can fire anyone he wants, which is of course his favorite thing in the world.

It's obvious that Trumpies spent the past four years putting together a wishlist of of actions for Der Färter to sign while keeping some poor schmuck chained in a basement coming up with the least descriptive, most misleading titles imaginable.