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Sheep: The White House called Samantha Bee's show "disgusting" and "not fit for broadcast". Goat: Too long has the Executive Branch been sidelined from television criticism! Sheep: Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, "Time Warner and TBS must demonstrate that such explicit profanity about female members of this administration will not be condoned on its network." Goat: Isn't the President's demanding the cancellation of a TV show he doesn't like a direct violation of the First Amendment? Sheep: You know the only amendment anyone cares about is the Second. Goat: And even that's just for white people.

NEW COMIC TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS AND WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES

There's a lot of stuff happening—Trump's Special Counsel was invited to speak to two groups of lawmakers before they were given a peek at classified intelligence relating to the Russia investigation; the EPA has barred some reporters from its "public" meetings and in one case had a reporter physically restrained; Trump leaked the most recent employment figures after frequently calling the numbers from the Bureau of Labor Statistics fictitious when they weren't favorable to him, which is, like two stories for the price of one; Puerto Rico's death toll due to Hurricane Maria is over seventy times higher than the one the government is reporting—but with all of that the big story is that Samantha Bee, on her show Full Frontal, called Ivanka Trump a "feckless cunt" and the White House took it with typical sweet-natured good humor. Ha, no, The Pussy Grabber-in-Chief and his evil minions had a shit-fit hemmorrhage in which they decided to tear up whatever was left of the Constitution because, why not?

By the way, in case you think the Second Amendment isn't just for white people, this is for you.