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Fisher: Hooray! More blood for oil! Raccoon: The last time the U.S. toppled a dictator of an oil-rich state it went so well. Fisher: As long as it's not my blood, I'm all for deposing another mustache! Raccoon: I'm sure this time we'll be greeted as liberators. Fisher: We destroyed two generations of young people in Iraq. It's the Zoomers' turn. Raccoon: As long as we can fill up our Dodge Garganturams who cares?

NEW COMIC TWO OR THREE TIMES A WEEK, OR WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES

We all awoke this weekend to find that we'd been turned, once again, against the collective wishes of most of the citizenry, into a colonizer. I mean, I guess we never really stopped being a colonizer -- Guam, Puerto Rico, American Samoa, etc -- but I think most of us, if we thought about it at all -- and most of us did not -- we probably thought the American empire as such was winding down. Iraq and Afghanistan went pretty poorly. People do remember that, right? We were all down on wars and the military and so forth and then George HW came along and gave us the Gulf War and suddenly we realized we could, in fact, kick ass, and from that tiny seed of death, destruction, and spent uranium rounds we grew the idea that maybe we could invade Iraq for no real reason [oil] and maybe handle Afghanistan for even less of a reason [dirt? I'm at a loss myself] and it took like another twenty years to relearn the lesson of Vietnam, which is DON'T. Just DON'T.

But we did!