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Sheep: A spokesman for Trump says Trump never suggested a Muslim registration list. Goat: Do these assholes even talk to each other? Sheep: It's like they don't even know there's video of everything. It takes ten seconds to find where Trump says exactly that he would implement a database of American Muslims. Goat: Does Trump even deign to meet with his underlings? Or does he just yell stuff at random people in his vicinity? Sheep: It really doesn't matter any more what actually happened, does it? That's where we are now. Goat: As Abraham Lincoln once said, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of overeducated pussies.

NEW COMIC TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS AND WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES

Trump never suggested a database of Muslims. It was suggested by someone else and he just agreed it was a good idea. Maybe he just says whatever he thinks his interlocutor wants to hear and doesn't remember it. Stuff happens so fast, you know? You can't keep up. That's why we have the staff of "The Daily Show" and shit like that, right? They keep track for us.

When Karl Rove, or whoever it was, back in the halcyon days of the George W. Fuckwit Bush administration, said, "We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality," it was widely seen as insanity, as pure hubris of the kind that would be struck down by the mighty pens of the world. But it's turned out to be frighteningly true—more real than any reality any journalist ever studied. It turns out the elected officials in the United States can just will their own reality into being, no memory hole, no Ministry of Truth needed.