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Tanuki: Trump’s pick for Secretary of Defense is a guy named "Mad Dog" who has said about Afghan Muslims, "It's a hell of a hoot. It's fun to shoot some people." Fox: Have you been to Germany recently? World War Two wiped out everything dangerous or interesting about the place. It's like Disneyland now. Tanuki: His National Security Adviser has tweeted "Fear of Muslims is RATIONAL" along with a link to a video claiming that Muslims want "80 percent of humanity enslaved or exterminated". He has also compared Islam to a metastasized cancer. Fox: America is going to be so great after the radioactive rubble is cleared away. Tanuki: Someone call Terry Southern and let him know Buck Turgidson and Dr. Strangelove are real. Fox: Terry Southern is dead, just like satire.

NEW COMIC TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS AND WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES

General "Mad Dog" Mattis is up for Secretary of Defense, and luckily this is one of those cabinet positions which needs to be confirmed by Congress, because he's actually said out loud, "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet." He's also literally said, "You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil. You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them."

General Mike Flynn was announced for National Security Adviser, for which Trump needs no approval. He foams at the mouth on Twitter, believes "Islamophobia" is an oxymoron because a phobia is irrational fear of something, and is, of course, quite friendly with the Russian oligarchy.