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Fisher: Bring on the first U.S. dictatorship! Raccoon: I can't wait to see who wins the inaugural season of American Strongman! Fisher: Sally Yates, fired for finding out Flynn. James Comey, fired while running his investigation into Trump. Raccoon: Desiree Fairooz, convicted of laughing at Jeff Sessions. Dan Heyman, arrested for asking questions of Tom Price. Fisher: Preet Bharara, Angella Reid... Raccoon: The Chief Calligrapher better watch her back. Fisher: When do you think we'll all be issued our matching prole coveralls? Raccoon: Once Ivanka's had her Chinese company put them together.

NEW COMIC TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS AND WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES

I can't even do justice to the insanity I've been seeing about Trump's latest firing, this time of FBI Director James Comey (who had to find out about it from TV because Trump is such a dickhead he can't even fire people in person when he's not on TV himself). This is surprisingly soon after Sally Yates took over the internet with her testimony where she apparently eviscerated Ted Cruz and slapped John Cornyn silly, after she was unceremoniously dumped. And of course there was the high-profile firing of New York U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara and the somewhat less-noticed but completely baseless firing of Chief Usher Angella Reid. What's the Chief Usher, you ask? Wikipedia knows.

There really is, by the way, a Chief Calligrapher, and her name is Pat Blair, and she'd better watch out.

More chilling than any of Trump's wild firings, however, is the increase in arrests of regular people attempting to make use of their First Amendment rights. After the reporters arrested during the inauguration and the DAPL protestors, and probably many more wrongful arrests I don't know about, the Trumpian government has managed to arrest and convict Desiree Fairooz for laughing during Jeff Sessions's confirmation hearing—imagine a world where Kalief Browder could've gotten through the courts that quickly—and follow that with arresting journalist Dan Heyman for persistently asking questions of Tom Price. As several people have noted, we live in a country where police can murder unarmed, innocent civilians on video with no repercussions but a woman can't chuckle at evil racists ascending to the highest positions in the executive branch.

The Washington Post is wrong. Democracy doesn't die in darkness. It's assassinated out in broad daylight with everyone watching on TV...and still no one is convicted.