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Badger: Hello, White House? Since I grew up in the America where we didn't have military parades in honor of our glorious leader, I have a few questions about Trump's requested military parade. Badger: The last big military parade I recall was when we won the Gulf War. You remember -- we won that one so thoroughly we had to go back and WE'RE STILL THERE. Badger: So is this one for winning the sixteen year war in Afghanistan? Or the Iraq War, technically over for eight years now? Or did we win the War Against ISIS? Or -- don't tell me we've declared victory in the War on Terror? Because that would clear all kinds of shit up! Badger: Please advise, I've got all these A.U.M.F. hats I was gonna put on Etsy.

NEW COMIC TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS AND WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES

Everyone remembers Trump wanted tanks rolling through D.C. for his inauguration, right? And everyone thought that was pretty fucking stupid. He hasn't given up on the idea, though, and apparently inspired by Bastille Day celebrations in France—what was that about again? Overthrowing an unpopular government made up of the wealthy? I forget, history was never my strong suit—Trump literally ordered the United States military to hold a parade, ostensibly in honor of itself, I suppose, although, really, it's for him.

One does rather wonder what in particular a parade at this point would be commemorating. The AUMF is still in force so I guess it's not that we won the War on Terror after all.