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Orange Meanie: Who wrote "DO NOT CONGRATULATE" on this morning's briefing? What's that mean? Orange Meanie: Was I not supposed to call my good friend Vladimir Putin and congratulate him on the surprising and untimely deaths of his opponents? Orange Meanie: Seems like he's got a good thing going there, I'm just saying. Orange Meanie: What's at the top of this evening's briefing? "DO NOT ABDICATE"? What's that mean?

NEW COMIC TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS AND WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES

Sure, calling up autocrats and dictators to personally congratulate them on winning their most recent "election" is on every democratic leader's to do list, isn't it? I don't know which is worse, that the buffoon actually called Putin or that this isn't a rumor or a leak but something Trump is openly unashamed of.

Maybe Putin is just unlucky. But to lose one opponent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose ten looks like carelessness.

[Editors Note: A jerk on Reddit pointed out that Obama congratulated Putin on his win back in 2012 and asked where I was then. Obviously I wasn't doing an angry political comic back then, because the world wasn't going to Hell on a bobsled. I did and do have a lot of criticisms of Obama, though. Not to make excuses for the same behavior but some of Putin's higher-profile critics and opponents hadn't been murdered by 2012; on the other hand, Litvinenko had been assassinated with polonium by then. So let's say it's bad no matter who does it.]