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Cat: Trump's inAuguration is shaping up to be a real ragin' kegger. Dog: He can't even get Springsteen-a-like B Street Band to play. Maybe he can call the ZEE Street Band? Poster: ATTENDING Mormon Tabernacle Choir Three Rockettes America's Got Talent 2010 runner-up Cat: Obama raised forty-four million bucks for ten kick-ass inaugural balls in 2009. Trump's got ninety million for two crappy balls. Dog: Meanwhile the few acts showing up for Trump are putting up GoFundMe pages because they're not being paid. Poster: NOT ATTENDING Jennifer Holliday Elton John Celine Dion KISS E Street Band B Street Band A-Y Street Band George Michael Anyone Else of Consequence Cat: Inaugural parades usually go for four hours but Trump's planning on sprinting through his in ninety minutes. Dog: We've come so far from the campaign which began with descending the escalator in Trump Tower. Poster: SPECIAL GUESTS Vlad Putin Vlad Tepes Larry Talbot Henry Frankenstein NO ADMITTANCE Ivana, Marla, Megyn Kelly, John Lewis, Vicente Fox, Pope Francis, Alec Baldwin, Meryl....

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The B Street Band is out. That's pretty pathetic. Talia Jane first broke the story (as far as I'm concerned) showing that acts are funding themselves on their trip to the inauguration, while Trump has raised $90 million to cover...almost nothing, really. You have wonder where all that money is going, but that's standard operating procedure in Trumpistan.

"Three Rockettes" is hyperbole. There may be as many as four.