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Cat: Trump simply cannot pass up a chance to be a dick: He's not bringing back Charlie Brotman to announce the inaugural parade. Dog: Charlie's only worked every inauguration since 1957. But fuck him, we've got a Trump supporter who needs the work. Poster: POSSIBLE NAMES "America: Greatness! Fun Party" "Make America Great Again! Welcome Celebration" Cat: If only one halfway decent musician owed Trump a favor this party wouldn't suck golf balls through a garden hose. Dog: There's no party like a Grand Old Party! Except every other party ever. Poster: Possible Names "Food! Fun! A Monkey! And America!" "Welcome!* *Not applicable to Negroes, Mexicans, Muslims, Women, the Gays, the Jews, or Other Groups at Our Discretion" Cat: Maybe Toby Keith will play "Red Solo Cup" for half an hour straight and we'll all die of a spontaneous spinal aneurysm. Dog: At least Trump will always have those fucking Spencer's T-shirts.

NEW COMIC TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS AND WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES

I'd never heard of Charlie Brotman until I read that Trump is dicking him over; in true Trumpian style, Charlie has been kicked to the curb for a Trump supporter who will probably fuck it up.

Personally I love "Red Solo Cup" but Toby Keith seems like a bit of a jerk. And by "bit of a jerk" I mean one of those pick-up driving Confederate battle flag-waving assholes who voted for Trump and should probably be banished to the fucking Phantom Zone.

Evidently those Spencer's t-shirts are real. I guess they're supposed to be ironic or some shit, but fuck Spencer's, seriously. Looking for this shirt on their site I put "pussy" into the search box and found out they straight-up sell Fleshlights and shit, which is just wrong. I'm all for being sex positive but damn, this is Spencer's.